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Module 1: Power and accountability
Session 1: Exploring power
Session 2: Gender, violence and the man box
Session 3: Gender, Violence, and Thinking Outside the Man Box Part 2
Session 4: Sexuality and Power

Session 4: Sexuality and Power

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Session Objectives and Materials

Objective
By the end of the session participants will have,

  • Increased their understanding of sexual entitlement and how it is linked to gender and patriarchy.
  • Reflected on and discussed how sexual entitlement contributes to violence against women and girls.

 

Materials Needed

  • Definitions for Activity 1
  • “Agree” and “disagree” signs placed on opposite corners of the room.
  • Group agreements on the flipchart
  • Printed copies of the scenario if possible. If not, scenarios written on flipcharts and hung up during the activity.
  • Information on referral services for survivors and for general SRHR needs from the referral pathway
  • Flipchart paper and Marker

 Key messages

Male sexual entitlement is the belief that men are entitled or “owed” sex when and with whom they want because they are men.

It is linked to patriarchy and the gendered belief that men can’t control their sexual urges.

Male sexual entitlement is linked with both intimate partner violence and sexual violence.

Women and girls have the right to decide if, when and with whom they have sex with.

Activities

Activity 1

Welcome and Review (15 minutes)

1. Welcome the participants on the next step of the journey to non-violence and survivors support, with today's discussion focusing on sexuality and power.

2. Ask the men to stand up and join you in taking deep breaths to help clear everyone’s mind. Facilitator should model breathing in deeply and exhaling completely. Ask participants to do this for 2 minutes.

3. Ask for volunteers to remind us of what the group agreements are. Facilitator should make sure each one is mentioned. Conversations around sexuality and male entitlement are challenging and the facilitator should make sure the group agreements are fresh in participant’s minds.

4. Ask participants how they think the group is doing following the group agreements? Which agreements seem hardest to keep in mind? Why? Is there anything the group wants to do to improve the communication or participation within the group?

Activity 2

Paired Activity: Concentrate (30 minutes)

 Before the session starts the facilitator will tape the words power over, power to, gender, gender roles, patriarchy, entitlement on the walls. The facilitator will also bring copies of the definition of each of the above terms to the group.

1. Ask participants to find a partner for this activity. Each pair will be given definitions that they will then need to match to the phrase or worm. Give participants 5 minutes. At the end of 5 minutes call the group back together. Give some sort of ‘prize’ to the pair that has gotten the most correct. Ask participants which term felt the most difficult to match? This activity may need to be modified depending on literacy levels of the group. For example, the facilitator may read a definition out loud and ask participants to stand under the phrase or word they think it relates to.

2. Facilitator should introduce the topic of sexuality and power and share we will be doing another activity called Vote with your feet: Men’s sexual entitlement statements (Adapted from Gender Equitable Men Scale).

3. You should explain the activity, sharing that you are going to read some statements out load to the group. If you agree with the statement, go to the ‘Agree’ sign. If you ‘Disagree’ stand by that sign and if you an “Not Sure” move to the middle of the room.

4. Emphasise there is no right or wrong answers. This activity is to help participants to think about the knowledge and attitudes they have around sexuality and power. No one in the group will be judged for their answers. Group members with different views will have the chance to share and discuss.

5. Facilitator reads the statements below on male sexual entitlements out loud.
Ask participants to stand under the “agree” and “disagree” signs to express how they feel about each statement. If they are unsure ask them to stand in the middle

Statements

◦ Men need sex more than women do.

◦ Men don't talk about sex; they just do it.

◦ It is the role of the wife to have sex with her husband when he wants to have sex.

◦ Men are unable to control their sexual urges. They must have sex when they want it.

6. After reading each statement and seeing where the men stand encourage a discussion between the participants about differences of opinion. For example, between the men that are standing under agree and disagree. Encourage anyone in the middle to share why they chose the middle. After a brief discussion, ask if anyone would like to change where they stand. Do this for all 4 statements.

7. Ask participants to come back together. Ask them to reflect on why men feel entitled to sex whenever they want it?

Activity 3

Group work: Consent and male sexual entitlement (35 minutes)

1. Divide the participants into 2 groups. Give each group a scenario and let them know they have 15 minutes to read and discuss it. The group discussions should be guided by these three questions:

  • How do you feel when you read the story?
  • Do you think Ana and Fatima freely agreed to have sex?
  • How did you see power being used?
Scenario's

Scenario 1
Jesus and Ana have been married for 10 years. Recently they were forcefully displaced from their village, and Jesus started drinking a lot of alcohol to cope with the stress. One night he came home drunk and demanded sex. Ana is uncomfortable, she doesn’t want to have sex, but she is also scared because Jesus has used violence against her and their children in the past. She doesn’t say anything, and they have sex.


Scenario 2
David and Fatima have been married for 5 years. One night David wants to have sex, but Fatima says she is not feeling well. David insists and persuades her, but after they start, she asks him to stop, because it's hurting her. David continues for several more minutes, holding her in place. Afterwards Fatima is silent and upset, but David says she let him start so he had to finish.

2. After 15 minutes someone from the group will share key points from the discussion. After each group shares their thoughts, ask participants to share ideas on how Jesus and David could ensure their wives had freely agreed to have sex.

3. Facilitator should emphasise that as in the previous sessions we see that men are given messages from society, their community, families, schools, churches, and other places that they have the right to take the things they want. Emphasise that no person owes another person sex. Using your power over someone, by pressuring, threatening, or forcing sexual activity is a violation of human rights.

Alternative Activity

Group discussion (ask vs tell): sexual consent and male privilege (20 minutes)

1. Facilitator should start the conversation by asking, have you ever been pressured or coerced to do something you didn’t want to do? Does anyone want to share an example?

2. Use the key messages and the questions below to moderate the discussion.

Questions

• Do you think a wife has the right to refuse sex if she doesn’t want it? Why or why not?

• Is forced sex a violation of human rights? Which rights?

• Can you think of a situation when a person doesn’t have the power to say no? (E.g. child bride, a woman fully dependent on her husband, someone who believes men have the right to women’s bodies.)

• What are these situations and how can we change them, so women and girls have the power? Can we use power within our sexual relationships? How?

3. Facilitator debrief by saying that through patriarchy and the attitudes and beliefs that support it, men are often taught to feel entitled, or that they were born with the right to have sex. These notions, present in many cultures, are harmful because they don’t allow for their partners to consent and can lead to pressure, coercion, which are forms of sexual violence. It’s important to reflect on what we were taught and whether some of it may harm our partners.

Activity 4

Closing/ debrief (15 minutes)

1. Ask each participant to share a word or a comment about the session. Was it interesting? Challenging? Thought provoking?

  • Patriarchy is upheld by culture and institutions, churches, schools, sometimes governments and that sends a message to men that women owe them sex, or that it is impossible for men to control their sexual urges. This is not true.
  • Emphasise that in relationships where power is shared no person should be forced to engage in sexual activity without their consent.
  •  Explain that anyone can be a survivor of sexual violence including men. Share that if the men know anyone that has experienced sexual violence there are places in the community they can go for help. Share the names of the organizations supporting survivors.

    Facilitator should highlight the following points,

    - male sexual entitlement is the belief that men are entitled or “owed” sex, when and with whom they want because they are men.

    - It is linked to patriarchy and the gendered belief that men can’t control their sexual urges.

    - Male sexual entitlement is linked with both intimate partner violence and sexual violence.

    - Women and girls have the right to decide if, when and with whom they have sex with

2. Thank the participants for their active participation and for starting the journey and remind them when and where the next session will take place