Home About
Module 1: Power and accountability
Session 1: Exploring power
Session 2: Gender, violence and the man box
Session 3: Gender, Violence, and Thinking Outside the Man Box Part 2
Session 4: Sexuality and Power

Session 3: Gender, Violence, and Thinking Outside the Man Box Part 2

manwoman-standing-1.png

Session Objectives and Materials Needed

Objective
By the end of the session participants will have,

  • Increased their understanding of how the man box can be harmful to women and girls.
  • Increased their understanding that men are not born violent.
  • Increased their understanding that violence against women and girls is a choice and that many men choose not to be violent

Materials Neeeded

  • The flipcharts from the previous session (man box woman box)
  • flipchart paper
  • Markers
  • Video - Life of Juan (if using that activity)

Key Messages

Men are not born violent and many men do not agree with violence against women and girls.

Women experience violence even when they stay within the box.

Men are often taught they can only show certain feelings. When men show feelings considered outside the box (sadness, fear, uncertain) they can feel they are losing the power associated with being a man. Some men chose to use violence as a way to keep control or to appear strong.

Activities

Activity 1

Welcome and Review (10 minutes)

1. Welcome the participants on the next step of the journey to non-violence and survivors support, with today's discussion continuing last week’s focusing on gender and violence.

2. Ask the men to join you in taking some deep breaths. Facilitator should model breathing in deeply and exhaling completely. Ask participants to do this for 1 minute.

3. Facilitator reminds the men that this program is really the start of each participant's journey, a place where they can explore new pathways for what it means to be a man.

4. Ask participants to reflect and share if they feel like they are on a journey?

Activity 2

In and Out of the Box Part II (60 minutes) 

1. Pair Work: Ask participants to find a partner. Ask them to spend five minutes sharing with each other where they learned gender norms about men and women.

2. Group discussion: Facilitator has the flipcharts with both boxes hanging up. Spend 10 minutes letting participants share with the group where they feel they learned ‘gender norms’ of how men and women are expected to act.

3. With the group, refer to the man box and engage in a discussion using the below questions

Questions

◦ What does the man box teach men about women and girls? What are some examples of that?

◦ Is the man box harmful or helpful to women and girls? How?

◦ Are men born violent? Do the ideas in the Man Box affect or contribute to violence? How?

4. Break the participants up into 2 groups with each one having a scenario.

Scenario's

Scenario 1
 Ernest and his family had fled the fighting about a year ago. They’d been in Kenya since then and Ernest was missing his family and friends. Once he even started to cry without realizing it. When his wife noticed she asked what was wrong. Ernest become embarrassed and felt ashamed his wife had seen him cry. He remembered his father telling him men never cry. He started to yell at her, telling her she was stupid, and she should shut up and go cook him food before he beat her.

Scenario 2
Roberto and his family fled Venezuela about 9 months ago. Because of the situation they could only bring 2 of the 4 children. The two youngest had stayed in Venezuela with Roberto’s mother. Roberto worried about them and missed them. One day when he was talking to his wife about the children he started to cry. He told his wife he was very worried about the children and that sometimes he felt so angry about the situation they were in he wanted to hit something.

5. Ask the groups to use the following questions to discuss and reflect together on their scenario

Reflection questions

  • What did they notice about how Ernest reacted to crying and how Roberto reacted to crying?
  • Do you think Ernesto was born violent? Why did he threaten his wife?
  • Ask participants to reflect on the man box and if any of them see themselves in the man box? Is the box helpful or harmful?

6. Bring the groups back together, allowing each group time to share reflections of their scenario.

Alternative Activity

The Life of Juan

1. Tell participants we are going to start with a video. The video is the Life of Juan, from the Promundo H program. Ask the men to reflect on the following questions as they watch the Life of Juan,

  • What have they been told about what a ‘real man’ should act like?
  • Where did they hear messages about what a ‘real man’ should act like?
  • Is there a time they remember from childhood where they felt pressured to act in a certain way because they were boys?



2. After the video is over bring participants together in a circle. As a group ask them to share

  • How did watching the Story of Juan make them feel? Did they notice anything happening in their bodies as they were watching it?
  • What parts of culture do they identify from the video and how does culture create expectations of what it means to be a man
Activity 3

Closing/ debrief (15 minutes)

 1. Facilitator closes the discussion by sharing,

  • Men are not born violent and many men do not agree with violence against women and girls
  • Women experience violence even when they stay within the box. Men are often taught they can only show certain feelings
  • When men show feelings considered outside the box (sadness, fear, uncertain) they can feel they are losing the power associated with being a man
  • Some men chose to use violence as a way of to seem in control or strong.

    2. Thank the participants for their active participation and for starting the journey and remind them when and where the next session will take place.