Session 10: Becoming an Ally in and out of the Home

Welcome and Review (15 minutes)

1. Welcome the participants on the next step of the journey to non-violence and supporting survivors with this week's discussion focusing on becoming an ally inside and outside of the home.
   
   
2. Ask for volunteers to recall the key messages or ideas from the previous session on supporting survivors.
   
   
3. Remind participants that next week is the last week that the group will meet in its current form. Ask the men how they are feeling about the group ending soon.  Encourage the men to discuss their feelings and emotions related to the group ending (happy, nervous, sad).
   
   
4. Remind we will be talking about allies, accountability, and action.

Group Discussion: (10 Minutes)

1. Facilitators ask participants if they’ve heard of the term ‘ally’ and if there is a volunteer to share what they understand the word to mean. Write the answers on a flipchart.
   
   
2. Facilitator shares that an ally: is a person who actively and appropriately supports a group or population that is marginalized, oppressed or discriminated against.   Actively means doing it on a regular basis. Supportive means that the person understands an ally is there to support not be a protector, or to speak on behalf of survivors or women and girls.  An ally supports survivors and women and girls to find and use their own power.

Group Discussion- Helping Reduce the Risk of Violence Against Women and Girls in the Community (45 minutes)

1. Explain that this is an activity that helps us consider how to be active and accountable allies in reducing IPV, CEMFU, and rape in the home and community.
   
   
2. Facilitator shares they will be writing statements on the flipchart. Share that there are signs or post-it notes that read “Helpful” and “Harmful.”
   
   
3. Facilitator explains that they are going to read 6 statements to the group. After each statement participants will reflect and discuss whether they statement is helpful or harmful in reducing the risk violence against women and girls. 
   
   Encourage the group to talk together to come to an agreement on whether the statement is “Helpful”, “Harmful.”   Once they come to a conclusion, they should place the sign or post it note on the statement. Facilitator should be prepared to ensure that as many voices as possible are heard as part of the discussion.
   
   Statements

   1. Report a case of rape to the police without talking to the survivor.
      
      
   2. When you have a chance to talk to your sister in private, you tell her that you are worried about her safety and the violence in her home.
      
      
   3. Ask your wife how she thinks that men can show women more respect.
      
      
   4. Ignore the sounds of your neighbour beating his wife.
      
      
   5. Argue with your neighbours, telling them they are violating human rights if they force their daughter to marry.
      
      
   6. Your neighbours are gossiping about the women next door that was raped by armed gunmen. They say she has brought shame to the family.  You say that you feel it is the perpetrator that should be ashamed. It was his actions that caused pain and harm.
4. Facilitator should ask the group to consider if it was difficult or simple to know if the action was helpful or harmful. Encourage participants to explain their response.  
   
   
5. Facilitator asks participants, for the actions they listed as harmful, what ideas do they have for what could be done differently to make the action helpful? For example, instead of Report a case of rape to the police without talking to the survivor change it to Share options and resources with a survivor, letting her know it is her choice how to proceed.

Personal Action Plans (40 minutes)

1. Facilitator shares that men modelling non-violent behaviour in the home and community, and publicly speaking out in support of survivors, play an important role in reduce the risk of VAWG. Explain that over the last several weeks participants had a chance to learn, reflect, question, and discuss power, gender, privilege and how those connect to IPV, CEMFU, and rape.
   
   
2. Facilitator should explain that we will now conduct an activity aimed at creating a Personal Action Plan. The aim of the action plan is for participants to identify and commit to key actions for change they want to make.
   
   
3. This activity will start as an individual activity asking participants to think about the changes, they each want to make to continue to work on themselves.  After 20 minutes of individual work ask participants to find a partner.
   
   
4. For the next 15 minutes share with your partner 1-2 things from the Personal Action Plan you have identified that you want to change about yourself. Partners should talk with each other about the actions they are thinking about taking to make those changes. Participants should think about what things will help them be successful in keeping their commitments, while sharing with each other some of the personal commitments they are making. 
   
   
5. Facilitator should note that in the next and final session of the intervention, participants will have the opportunity to share more about their personal commitments to non-violence and survivor support.
   Personal Action Plan

   What I Want to Change	What 1- 2 actions will I take to change in this area?	What things will help me achievemy goals?
   Changes in myself	1. 2.	1. 2. 3.
   Changes in how I am in my home	1. 2.	1. 2. 3.
   Changes in my relationship	1. 2.	1. 2. 3.
   Changes in how I support survivors in my community	1. 2	1. 2. 3.

    

6. After pairs have spent 15 minutes together call all the participants back together in the circle. Ask for volunteers to share how the individual reflections and paired discussions went.
   
   
7. Facilitator should asks if participants talked about how they could support each other in keeping these commitments.
    

Closing/debrief: (5 minutes)

1. Facilitator closes the discussion by emphasising an ally is a person who actively and accountably supports women and girls.
   
   Actively means doing it on a regular basis.
   
   Accountable, an ally is there to support survivors and women and girls based on what women, girls, survivors say they need and want.  Accountability is not speaking on behalf of someone it is not about solving every problem or performing the gendered role of protector or to speak on behalf of survivors or women and girls.
   
   An ally supports survivors and women and girls to find and use their own power.
   
   Becoming an ally is a process and a journey, meaning it takes time. The Personal Action Plans are a tool to help participants on that journey.